Sarah Parham

John Wesley has many quotes that have lingered, and some that we would be wise to heed.  One such quote that has been on my mind lately:

Do all the good you can,
by all the means you can,
in all the ways you can,
in all the places you can,
at all the times you can,
to all the people you can,
as long as you ever can. 

How often do we approach our faith in this manner?  With conscious effort to “do all the good you can”?  I think we tend to the opposite approach.

Avoid all the sin you can. 

We come by it honestly really.  It’s bred into our everyday living.  We try to be good law-abiding citizens (most of us!). And to be a good law-abiding citizen means that we are not breaking the law – we aren’t doing anything wrong.  To my knowledge, there are very few “thou shall”s in our American laws.  You must pay taxes, and educate your children.  But beyond that, just don’t be bad.  Don’t break the speed limit, don’t murder anyone, and if you are the University of Kentucky’s campus absolutely DO NOT park in the wrong place (not even for a second!).

But Jesus redefined the law for Christians completely differently.  Jesus summarized the law as this:

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind.
This is the first and greatest commandment.
The second is like it: you shall love your neighbor as yourself.

He doesn’t say, “don’t sin”.  He says, “you shall love“.  We can avoid sin with a life of passivity.  We can be hermits, avoid interactions with people and not hurt anyone, and thereby stay clean.  That is how we tend to define sin these days isn’t it?  Not hurting other people.  It is the chief sin of America today to offend someone.  So, we tread lightly where our fellow man is concerned.  We work hard to not offend, to not hurt others.  And many times this leads to passivity.

But we can’t love passively.  Love is more than just not hurting someone.  Love requires action.  It required interaction.  We can’t passively let the world pass us by and work hard at thinking good thoughts trying to please God.  What He desires is that we love, and that we love well.  It requires action.

As I have thought about Mr. Wesley’s admonition to “do all the good you can”  I have realized these things:

Avoiding all the sin I can leads me to a life of guilt.  I am constantly left feeling guilty because I didn’t avoid all sin.  I will never be able to avoid all sin.

Avoiding all the sin I can leads me to never sharing Christ with others.  What if I offend them?  What if they get angry?

Doing all the good I can frees me to share the love of God with my neighbor.  I can and will love my neighbor.  I will share the gospel because it is Good News!  I would be the stingiest person on the block to withhold good news.

Doing all the good I can frees me from guilt.  For one, I am focused on the right thing: good.

There is no one good but the Father.

And when I am doing all the good I can, there are limits.  There is only so much good I can do.

 

What would it mean to you, to free yourself from avoiding all the sin you can, and pursue living a life of doing all the good you can?  Leave a comment.  I’d love to hear!

Have you ever taken a leap of faith based on a word from the Lord you thought you heard, only to fall flat on your face…in the mud?  The word it seemed so clear.  The path was wide open.  But the results, well those were a little muddy.

Take the classic story of Peter confessing that Jesus is indeed the Christ, followed almost immediately by Jesus calling him Satan.  Talk about highs and lows!  What stands out to me in Peter’s story is the reality that we can have a real and true revelation from God, and immediately screw up right afterwards.  I have a bad habit of questioning pretty much everything.  What I scrutinize the most heavily though is myself, most particularly my thoughts.  I wonder if my thoughts are from the Lord, if decisions made were the right ones etc.  It can be so confusing sometimes.  I will know something is clear and right and from the Lord, and then three minutes later, all I can hear is the voice of Satan.  It’s pretty discouraging.  But what I took away from this text (in tears) is that I don’t need to doubt the revelations God has given me.  No matter what comes next, I can cling to those truths.   Just as with Peter, they don’t find their origin in me anyway, so I have no need to second guess them.

The flip side of the coin of this passage is the understanding that all revelation is partial revelation.  Peter confessed that Jesus was the Christ, and that revelation was right and good and true!  But Peter had no idea what that meant.  They weren’t able to understand that Jesus was the suffering servant.  They still clung to the hope in a kingly victor.  Yes, Jesus said it to them, but the light bulb didn’t go off.

We can’t know the whole picture.  We likely couldn’t handle it.  We would likely turn and run the other way.  Just like I can’t make my current exercise goal to prepare for a marathon!  The thought of that is so overwhelming I will not run even once.  All the best business books will tell you to set attainable goals.  A marathon isn’t attainable!  Neither is the full understanding of who God is and what He is up to in this world.  All wisdom is God’s wisdom, and walking with us one step at a time, that’s God’s wise way.  If I knew the path Jesus was leading me on, the whole path, I would likely choose another path.  I wouldn’t even take the first step.  But He is kind enough to give me just as much as I need to take the next step.  I need to trust that voice that I know and that is so familiar.  Even when I have no idea where the path is leading.  Even when it leads up to a dead end…like a cross, or a Red Sea…just in faith, follow His leading.

Your word O Lord, is a light unto my feet…

It was one of those days.  One of those days where mommy really would have done better to have a day in isolation.  Humanity would have been better off for it.  And of course, it was the day my children decided not. to. nap.  Somehow, they know!!!!  At the end of the day, as I was holding on to bare threads to get my precious little ones in bed, it occurred to me how far God has brought me.  That may sound arrogant, but I assure you, the emphasis is squarely on how far God has brought.  The me at the end of the sentence is just for clarity.  God has truly done a work in me.  I remember a time, not too long ago really, when I was hanging on by mere threads at the end of nearly every day.  That is not an exaggeration.  Now, don’t go thinking that every day in my house ends with happy, in tune, singing of “You Are My Sunshine”, followed by a sweet kiss and a “Goodnight, my love”.  At five-thirty each day, I look at the clock and say to myself “Two more hours, Sarah.  You can do this.”  But not today.  Oh no.  Not today. Today at 5:30, I was asking my children to clean up the house before dinner.  Fifty thousand times I asked them.  At one point, I told them, “I am about to yell at you.”  I was losing it.  You know that crazy person that lives inside, yeah, she was coming out.  I tried to warn my family.

Then bedtime came. Bedtime always brings guilt on days like today. At the end of the day, you mentally review.  What can I thank God for today?  As I was praying with my sweet-hearted middle son, I realized how thankful I am that days like today are far more rare than they used to be.  I’m also really grateful that somehow the crazy woman has lost some of her power in her hibernation.

I honestly wish this were a how-to post.  I wish I could tell you how I got from there to here, but I can’t.  I have no idea.  I can only praise God and give Him glory!

I have decided that if I didn’t have to break out a computer to write, I would write so much more. The computer has taken on the image of both work and distraction. Perhaps even more so in the last six months since I’ve started going back to school. My computer is now associated with writing academic papers, and all the things (read: Facebook, Pinterest, etc) that distract me from writing said papers. So when I have a moment to sit and relax and meditate on the things of God, I am not inclined to pull out my computer to write out the things God shows me. I’m always afraid that by looking at this bright screen somehow the spell of God’s presence will be broken. Haha.

Well, I got lucky this week! Inspiration came even as I was already looking at this bright screen. Last week I took a class on the World Religions. I’m learning so much through all these world religions. Even things about my own faith. Ways I can be stretched. Places I can learn from them. I wanted to share just a few tidbits with you.

Hinduism, which I knew nothing about going into this class, has one god that has many manifestations. There are three major manifestations called Brahman, Vishnu, and Shiva. These three represent three major functions of God. Brahma is the creator aspect of God, Vishnu is the sustaining aspect of God and Shiva is the destroying aspect of God. Initially the idea of God having a destroying aspect can be shocking and even jarring. But according to the Hindu faith, Shiva is necessary and good. If the universe were created and constantly sustained things would quickly get out of hand. Therefore, Shiva is the one who destroys things. However, this destruction is not viewed as negative. Rather, death is seen as a necessary precursor for rebirth. Destruction and creation are constantly linked in a never-ending cycle. It makes me think of Ecclesiastes.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the sun. A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant, and a time to uproot.

So often in our cultures though, we just simply don’t believe this. We want to believe that we can continue on and on with new beginnings, but with no need to end anything. To end something seems like a failure. When it’s time to move on from a job, there is an ending. And it is good. When someone passes from this life to the next, we haven’t failed, it is good. When your baby goes to kindergarten, and the preschool season ends… We have a God, just as the Hindus, who is the author of endings. That isn’t often said. But God said it:

I am the beginning and the end.

I won’t prescribe to the full understanding of the Hindu faith, that life and death are linked in a never ending cycle. It is from this full understanding that the idea of reincarnation comes. Besides being not scriptural, that just sounds like torture. However, we could do ourselves some good to recover a healthy understanding of God as both the beginning and the end. We so often call on God to do a new thing in our hearts, in our lives, in our families. But in order to do that new thing, perhaps God is calling us to end an old thing, an old habit, an old pattern of living. We have this tendency to see endings as our responsibility. I must end this sin cycle in my life. I must end this unhealthy pattern of living in my family. Etc. But Jesus has said

“It is finished”.

He gives us both the new beginnings and the ends.
Frankly, I’m not very good at this. Letting things end. I am currently in denial that summer break has ended. I’m also in denial that my oldest daughter’s babyhood is ended. She’s in first grade now. First grade! Of course those are just the little things, they get bigger. But you get the idea. So, to hear from Hinduism that God, yes, even our God is the author of endings, well, it was a much needed reminder for me.

To my mom, on this Mother’s Day,

Thank you.  Thank you for bringing me into this world.  Thank you for the countless baths you had to give me, sometimes even multiple per day. Thank you for teaching me to brush my teeth, eat my veggies and respect my elders.  Thank you for giving up so much to raise me.  You could have been a renown physical therapist, or a coveted CPA, but instead, you wiped my nose, and my derriere.  Instead, you washed crayon off the walls, applesauce off the floors and spaghetti off the table.  Instead, you took backtalk from me that no client or patient would have ever dreamed to give you.  You corrected me and loved me anyways.  Thank you.

But even more than all these things, I want to thank you for making a way for Jesus in my life. I know we didn’t read the Bible, or go to church when I was young.  I know you think that God has captured my heart despite the lack of outright devotion paid to Him in our childhood.  But you are wrong.  You made a way, so that in the right time, when God revealed himself to me as a God who loves me in spite of my faults, I recognized that.  I knew it could be true.  Because of you.  When God offers to hold me through the pains of life, I know to trust Him.  Because of you.  When God does not remove all obstacles from my way, but rather teaches me through them, I recognize the love in that.  Because of you.  When I am angry and raging against God and all that I think is unfair, and He is still there, stroking my hair, I recognize His faithfulness.  Because of you.

Thank you for not making my life so easy I wouldn’t be prepared for this world.  Thank you for loving me even through the times I was raging at you.  Thank you for patiently correcting me.  Thank you for loving me, unconditionally.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I had the thought last night, I wonder if Job had scars.  The bible teaches us that he had boils on his skin, and that he cut himself in his anguish.  It just makes me wonder, you know in chapter 42, where he is surrounded by his new family, his wealth is returned and his joy as well, did he remember?

Did he sometimes catch a glimpse of his arms…?

Did he see the scars left behind…?

I’m sure on some days he would just move on.  The scars are a part of the new normal.  They were just a part of his arm, not memories of the past.

But then, on other days, perhaps the quieter days, did he see those scars…and get taken back?  To a different time and place.  A place where the answers weren’t coming.  Time had not yet healed.  Those weren’t scars, they were bloody painful places.  Open wounds that kept him in pain day in and day out.  Even sleep couldn’t numb the pain.

But now, those wounds are not open any longer.  They are now scars.  They healed over, but they never. went. away.  Yes, I am convinced, Job had scars.  Job carried around on his body evidence of the mysteries of God.

Sometimes in my life I want miraculous healing.  I want my wounded places to look as if no wound had ever been known.  I want to experience this power of God.  But in that kind of healing, perhaps something is lost.  Perhaps by living through the full cycle of the wound, I will end up with something better.  I will end up with a scar.  A continual reminder of the greatness and the mystery of God.

Do I doubt God’s ability to heal?  Is it my lack of faith that keeps His healing powers at bay? Absolutely not!  In fact it is my firm faith in His ability that makes His silence a mystery.  I know that the God who raised Jesus from the dead has the power to bring new life to any part of me that is lacking.  I have no lack of faith in His ability.

But now, I am left with this mystery, that you, my God, who loves me and wants the best for me, you who died to take my place, you who sacrificed yourself for me, are at this time unwilling to make me whole.

Job never did get the answers he wanted.  But he did get an answer.  It was a lengthy answer, perhaps more than Job bargained for.  Listen to Job’s response after God had spoken:

I know that you can do all things;
no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
You asked, “Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?”
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.
You said “Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.”
My ears have heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.
Therefore, I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.

 My ears have heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you.  And through these scars, my eyes are continually reminded of your greatness, your vastness, your mystery.

Like this tree has a scar where once was a loved limb.  What is the story?  How was it lost?  Every spring, new life graces this tree as life continues to move on.  But every spring, there is this one place where there are no leaves.  Does the tree feel its loss?  Certainly she never forgets.  She has the scars to remind her.  Either way, each year, through the seasons, it continues to give glory to its Creator.  Not in spite of its scars, but even through them.  There is life on the other side of loss, she seems to proclaim!  Just like the stone monuments raised by the Israelites to proclaim God’s works to future generations, our scars hold a story, a truth, a promise.  Sometimes that story is of victory after many long hard battles.  Or perhaps God’s rescue when we had lost the battle and become prisoners to the enemy.  Or maybe the truth is that indeed God is too wonderful for me understand.  There is beauty in every scar.

Last post I mentioned that my faith has gown as my perspective has shifted.  I once judged my closeness to God in porportion to the possibility of what God can do in, through or for me.  Now, I am aware that I do not have the eyes to see the possibilities God has for me.  My visions are at once too grand and too short-sighted for all that God has for me.  As the dreams of my 20’s have taken their turns,  some being fulfilled, some being dashed to pieces, I have learned – my faith can’t be placed in my dreams.  No, now my faith is in direct proportion to all God has done in, through and for me.

Could this be the secret to contentment?

Anyone who has played any sport on a “Christian team” knows Philipians 4:13

I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

If is often used in context of overcoming in the underdog position.  Not exactly the context of this verse!!  It is actually talking about contentment.  In a sports context it would be saying “I can win or loose.  No matter, God’s got me either way.”

 

For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,
whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

The secret to contentment is in knowing that God got you to this point.  He has gotten you through need, hunger, want.  Therefore, you can be content now, knowing God will get you through this too!  You don’t need for God to do any particular thing in your future to fulfill you.

You can look at an unknown future, knowing the road He has brought you so far.  The secret is that God is with you, and gives you strength.  That’s why I believe it is so important to build up Ebenezers.  Little memorials to remind yourself of all that God has done for you.  This is why God has given us a memory.  He wants us to draw on these reserves of His remembered faithfulness.  Not that any particular outcome is guaranteed.  Not that the road will be easy.

But God will be with you.

Just as He always has been.

I had a moment one Saturday morning, about two weeks ago, I was riding in my car listening to an older cd. (yes, I’m ancient technologically and I still listen to cds!)  It was a Sandra McCracken album that had been on repeat in my car for about a year straight almost a decade ago.  You know how music brings back memories.  Well this album was bringing me back to the place I was in my relationship with God, about a decade ago.

We were in a good place, God and I.  I was trusting Him, serving Him, and looking forward to all God would do in my life.  That’s what your 20’s are all about right?  Possibilities.  It was really good.  I think at that time, I thought it couldn’t get better.

God has a way though.  In this past decade, much has happened.  Some beautiful, some incredibly painful.  And the line between the two is really, really blurry.  As for all those possibilities, well, some came to pass, some haven’t.  The ones that did, well, those are probably the ones that have thrown me the most.

Then, riding in my car, with Sandra in one ear, and God in the other, reminiscing, I realized, I love God so much more now than I ever have before.  And right now, it’s not a love based on possibilities.  I have learned that even if those possibilities, those dreams, come true, it won’t be the way I imagine it.  And I have learned that even if the dreams don’t come true, God is still good.  God has been so faithful to me.

I was so sure of things back then.  I think in almost every way, I am farther behind now than I was in my 20’s.  Bad things have happened.  Things I can’t explain.  But God has been at my side every moment.  He has been so good to me.  I’m not sure I can even explain the insanity of these sentences sitting right next to each other.  God has been good, while bad things have happened.  He has whispered encouragement in my heart daily, even hourly when needed.

I realized that my relationship with God has shifted.  It has shifted from possibility to a history.  I guess this happens in a marriage too.  You start excited about all the possibility, and grow into a trust based on a history.  That’s where I am with God. (my husband too, now that I think about it.)  And it’s a very sweet place to be.

I still have dreams, possibilities, in mind.  But they aren’t the things I cherish anymore.  I know that no matter where I go, God will be with me.

In 1 Samuel chapter 7, you see Samuel erect a monument to God’s faithfulness.

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.”

It was a fairly common thing to set up stones as monuments to great events.  They were meant to be reminders.  When children asked about the stone formations, they could be told the stories of God’s faithfulness.  Ebenezer in Hebrew means “stone of help”.  This website is my Ebenezer.  It is my monument to God’s faithfulness.
Thus far the Lord has helped me.

 

In raising children, there is a place for both discipline and for punishment.  There is also a difference.  Discipline is like training.  Discipline is doing the right thing over and over even when you don’t want to.  Like cleaning your room, eating your vegetables, going for a run.  It is important that children and adults are disciplined.

But what about punishment?  Does it have its place? Yes.  When rules are established and broken, when discipline is not achieving its desired effect, then there must be some intervention.  That’s where punishment comes in.

But why?  Because the rules matter!  If the rules didn’t matter, then there would be no reason for punishment.  But the rules do matter.  When mom says “Don’t run into the street.”  There is a reason.  You will die.  The rules are for your good.  Mom says “Clean up your legos.”  There is a reason.  If you step on one…you will want to die.

Same with God.  God lays out a few rules.  He disciplines us, trains us so we can follow Him.  But when we don’t respond, when we rebel, there is punishment.  God said, “Don’t eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil”.  We ate.  There was a punishment.

So what happens when you swallow the whole fruit?  What if what you find yourself in isn’t the soul training discipline of the Lord, but rather true punishment for a true mess up?

Well, first off, you wouldn’t be alone!  Think Jonah and the whale, Israel in exile…

Second, don’t fight it!  The punishment of God brings about peace and our salvation.

Take Jonah and the whale for example.  Here’s a story of God’s punishment if I ever saw one.  God says “Go to Ninevah”.  Jonah runs the other way.  Big storm.  Swallowed by a whale.

Imagine what would have happened if Jonah had he not been swallowed by that whale?  He would have surely drowned.  He was already to the depths of the sea at which whales live.  He wasn’t going to make it back up!  The whale which we see as his punishment, was actually his salvation.

The Israelites underwent punishment.  They were sent into exile.  Taken away from their homes.  They had to live under the rule of their enemy.  But consider the alternative: when their enemies invaded their land, it was either kill the Israelites, or bring them back into their territory to live.  Again, this punishment of the Lord, was the nation’s salvation.  The ones who were left in Israel were killed.  It was those who underwent punishment and discipline who were saved.  It was through those Israelites that Jesus would be born and our salvation would come.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Back to the beginning.

Adam and Eve were told “Do not eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.”  They did.  Sin entered the world.  God said to himself, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil.  He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.”

But why?

That wasn’t against the rules in the first place, right?  So, why now?   Because now, sin was in the world.  And God wanted to save His people from living in a sin filled world.  Forever.  In the beginning, God wanted man to eat from the tree of life.  We were meant to live forever.  That’s why there is this thing in our souls that rails against death.  We know it’s wrong.  It’s not the original plan.  And our souls are right.  But,

death. is. our. salvation.

It is at once our punishment, and the only thing that will bring us peace.  Could you imagine, living forever, in this sin sick world?  I for one can not.  I look forward to death. (in a healthy, I can’t wait to see Jesus, not a morbid, I want to die kind of way!)

This is important to understand though.  God’s punishment is not arbitrary, it is not strictly punitive.  It is for our ultimate salvation!

Oh taste and see that the Lord is good!

 

Moreover, we have all had earthly fathers who disciplined us for a little while as they thought best.  But God disciplines us for our good, so that we may share in His holiness.

 

The old saying, when God closes a door, He opens a window.  It sounds good, feels good…until you realize the window is on the twenty-sixth story of a tall building and He’s asking you to jump out!!!

That’s about where I am right now.  I’m standing at the balcony of a twenty-sixth story window.   A window opened by God.  I wasn’t strong enough to open it myself.  I’m looking over the edge.  I see the excitement of flying.  And I feel the terror of falling.  It’s this terror of falling that gives me that sense that this must be from God.

That’s the way it is with God.

Without faith it is impossible to please God.

I know I can’t fly.  As I look out this window, and I contemplate jumping out, the only hope for survival I have is if God intervenes.  If somehow, He comes under me, and carries me through the air to the finish line.  That’s what faith is.  It’s not acting on what we know.  It is not seeing the way, but walking through the windows God opens anyways.

Perhaps the old saying is true, God often opens windows.  Maybe we miss them though.   What we see from our little perch is a nice view.  What God wants is an act of faith.

What surprises me the most at this juncture is the humongous crowd gathered behind me chanting “Jump!  Jump! Jump!”  I sincerely thought when I told them that I was looking out this open window that everyone would intervene and pull me away from the danger.  That’s my gut instinct.  Run from risk.

What do these people see?  Obviously not me floundering already with my three little ones.  Perhaps what they see has nothing to do with me.  Perhaps what they see is the hand of God opening the window.  Who knows.  But they are there.  And I trust that they will be on the ground to catch me if I fall as well.

Thankfully, the implications of the plunge I am taking are not quite as dire as stepping out of a 26 story window.  No, for me, I take a few classes, and either I pass them and get a degree, or I fail them and live with the knowledge that I tried.  But at this moment, I feel like I’m on that balcony ledge, looking over.  I hope I fly.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles,
They will run and not grow weary,
They will walk and not be faint.